Today is going to be a sh!t day. No point in flowering it over.

My heart breaks for Maia. Having to deal with just a cold is bad enough when it comes to pulling at your heartstrings, but knowing that my daughter faces unknow amounts of pain, for what can possibly last for the rest of her life is different.
The diagnosis is, despite my negative attitude at the mo, actually rather good. Yes, she has JIA, but 2 out of 3 children more or less grow out of it. And so far, Maia doesnt actually seem to be suffering too bad. So maybe I am being over sensitive, maybe I am not. However, I do think I am allowed to feel however the hell I want, so sod it, I will.

I am glad that Maia doesnt appear to be in much pain. Yes, her broken sleep and waking up through the night might be down to her knee and ankle hurting, or it could be just a phase, or just a simple thing as a lot going on in her head in the way of dreams as there is so much going on around her what with all the hospital visits,blood tests and what not. It is something that started about 2 months before her fall which we believe brought on the JIA (its common for trauma to a joint to cause JIA to flare up for the first time in small children). But just because we werent aware of anything prior to this, it doesnt mean she wasnt suffering. We have completely missed that her right ankle is slightly swollen, as its always been so obvious with her left knee. Her paediatric doctor also missed this, and it was only the specialist who spotted it on tuesday. So I’m not beating myself up over that one.

We now have anti-inflammatory and pain  killer to give her morning and night, and she is booked in next wednesday to have cortisone injections to her knee and ankle. Seeing as that is a rather painful thing, she will be put to sleep again, so we have another whole day at the hospital. Hurrah! I would rather that though, and maybe I will get a chance to read my book that is gathering dust on the shelf as its not been touched since Lily was born lol. Poor booky-wook!

Maia is home with me & Lily today, she’s not quite 100% with this cold she has now caught. Hope it goes away over the weekend else Im not sure what will happen on wednesday. We had to postpone the MRI scan once as she was full of it and they dont want to put them under with a cold. Risk of complications and all that. So today I think we will make some chocolate balls as Maia really enjoys it. Ofcourse, on days like today, lots of cuddles on the sofa are obligatory, which I am sure will go a long way to mend todays heartbreak


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