when bed is the sensible option

frick, frick and double frick!

I cant sleep. Or rather, I cant bring myself to go to bed. I’ll just be laid there, listening to Mark and Lily snoring (both are full of the cold) and thinking of poor Maia in her bed all alone. I am quite tempted to hunker down next to her bed tonight. To just lay there, listening to her breathing, like I used to do when she was in the cot in our room. My little baby, she has gotten so big!

And still, she is so small. Too small, in my opinion, to have to be ill. Tonight I have this disconcerting, anxious feeling creeping all around my body from my toes to the ends of my hair. I keep going over and over the last four months since Maia first had her fall that caused her knee to swell up. I think back to how she all of a sudden started sleeping funny a month before Lily was due, having always been a fantastic sleeper. Always. Did it start then? Was she in pain? She could have been. She might be hurting in places, other than her knee and ankle right now. Just because its not swollen doesnt mean her joint doesnt hurt. But which one, if there is one?

I am thankful we can see a change in Maia this last week since she got her medication. Its just a darned shame she was too snotty to be put asleep yesterday in order to have her cortisone injections. Saying that, as it was with  me being poorly we probably wouldnt have been going in anyways what with the risk of infecting others (even now it seems Im the only one to have been ill, touch wood). She is sleeping better at least. She is recognising when she is in pain now, where she wasnt able to understand it before. Now she can tell us and point to where it hurts, as she gets its now, poor mite.  Like a lot of young children, a lack of understanding what pain is makes it hard for them to say what is up. They just get on with things, just like what Maia did. Now when she wakes in morning she usually tells us her knee is sore and is qutie stiff when she walks.
We have an eye examination on monday, to check that there is no swelling there, which can lead to problems; another thing that is hard for small children to explain as they dont percieve it as their vision having changed and it being a bad thing, its just accepted by them. Makes you wonder really.

Anyhoo…I better get myself tucked up, else I will be useless tomorrow. But then, it is friday, so who really cares- the weekend starts once we wake up tomorrow 😉


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