ramblings of an evening

 

Here’s my two gorgeous snugglebums cosied up together as I was cooking dinner one day last week. Its amazing how much I love my children. Sometimes it hurts to just look at them, because I love them that much. You mothers out there will know what I mean. 

It is a constant battle, this mothering business. It seems with everything, you are damned if you do and damned if you dont. But as long as you take it all with a swish of a skirt and a smile, anything is possible, and anything can work. I cant begin to tell you how much I needed half term last week and time with my girls – and Mark of course, He is very important too! I have been so busy working, what with doing the two jobs, that I really feel I have missed out the past month. As I am now settling better into the school routine, and the demands of me out of hours as it were, I feel I have a lot more freedom to do with my evenings what I wish. I still struggle greatly with not eating breakfast with the girls, its just something that doesnt sit right with me (though I will freely admit I am glad of the mess that is avoided).I guess all the holidays I have off with them will make up for that! By golly do I feel lucky to have a job where my holidays synchronise with the kids (once they get older) and I dont see how I never thought of it as a good move before. But then, I would not be where I am now.

Where am I now, then? Physically – In bed but moving to the sofa to watch some tv with Mark in a sec. Emotionally – a good place. Yes I am a little stressed about having my ideas of how I want my homelife to be set little askew, but its given me the chance to look at things at a different perspective. It seems that when ever I feel I am done with having learnt a lesson in life, another is thrown right at me, that I just manage to get to a point where I think I am good to start ”relaxing”. What is relaxing really? Do we ever stop learning from life? Jeez, this got a bit philosophical eh.

I guess what I am trying to get at, is that this fog and fear of the unknown and unforseen circumstances and opportunities has lifted. The first flush and overload of information has been processed and I can see the road I am wanting to go down. Who knows where it will end up!

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